Stuck...

 It has been a tough old week. Mikey went back to school on Monday, but I got a call on Tuesday as he was itching like a crazy thing! I took him an antihistamine but I got the distinct impression they wanted me to take him home, so I did! He was back on Wednesday and after school we dropped him off at Kingswood for his residential held over from last March!

He wandered off with is back without a look back! It isn't that he hadn't seen his friends for at least an hour, but he looked quite happy and it meant we could leave quickly before I burst into tears! I had threatened to wear my tiara to drop him off, but was told in no uncertain terms that that would not be allowed... Getting home after dropping him off was odd to say the least, every kids voice I heard had me checking if it was him.

Miss Talbot dropped all the Yr 6 parents an e-mail on Thursday morning to say the boys had been up REALLY early (Mikey has confirmed 5am with a sleep time from 2am!) But there had been no massive outpouring of homesickness, and no calls to say that he was refusing to eat thankfully.

This morning I was ready to go and get him just after 11. I know I moan about the amount of noise he makes, but it appears I really need his noise in my life...

Today I am 'enjoying' stabbing pains in both my left and right and I know my leukocytes are still up, my ph is around 4.5-5 (acidic) and I've got both protein and blood in my urine. My GP is now shut until Monday and all they do is send me straight to Emergency Care in Canterbury and I know from my last 2 visits there is a distinct lack of care in that place and they fiddle their records to make me fit into their treatment targets. I don't want to sit there with nothing being done yet again.

KCC have decided that so called Freedom day on Monday is going to cause complete chaos and so are implementing Operation Brock yet again. So as a result I am feeling isolated and very trapped in Ashford. TO be honest, right now I have had enough this year and I can't take any more. This disease is horrible, but I look totally fine and normal even though I feel dead 90% of the time. I look back on 2008 when I didn't notice pain at all, I wish I knew how I did  that and that I could do it again. But instead I'm still having constant dizzy spells, I'm walking into doorways and my legs and arms feel crazily weak. I really wish someone would just put me out of my misery.



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