Lockdown 2020 and on

Amazingly I am still behaving and avoiding everyone!! I have not left the house and gone anywhere for most of November. Right now I'm getting to know very grumbly kidneys but trying to avoid painkillers as the ones I have do have a pretty nasty side effect which doesn't leave me feeling at all comfortable! |Today for lunch I took to easy option and just stuck some part bake rolls in the oven. Mikey declared recently that he doesn't like these any more so Andy and I shared them. By the time I gad eaten 1 his Imperial highness appeared and changed his declaration as he was 'only joking' and my lunch disappeared very quickly....and not into me!! Unfortunately I am having a munchy day and the bag of frazzles I was allowed to eat did not fill me up 😕  I have already decided what dinner is...wonder if Andy wants it early!! Sleep is still proving problematic to say the least. I know I am exhausted and I need a few weeks worth of sleep, but once up stairs it just doesn'

 The news this week has been full of information about various vaccines. A question was asked on Facebook about who would have it. I appear to be in a very small minority as I feel we need it in order to get vaguely back to whatever normal will be in the future. One friend is concerned as they do not yet know how long any antibodies will last, that doesn't bother me too much as I guess everyone will be monitored and we can be topped up if needed! As I have not left home over the last 2 weeks I am battling cabin fever again. Today has been wet and horrible, plus I was up all night and once I went to bed I was woken by a couple of calls from school so I am now running on zero. What usually happens at this point is that I pass out and finally get some sleep. Hopefully that will happen again and I will sleep regardless of any snoring happening! Failing that I still have quite a few episodes of Call the Midwife to watch and we have only watched 1 episode of The Crown so far... Mikey has

 My mental wellbeing has had one heck of a knock this weekend. I spent all of last week actually feeling fragile, but over the weekend it had increased in its ferocity.  I am totally exhausted and sleeping is not helping it ease in the slightest. If I'm honest I could happily fall asleep and stay that way for as long as possible. A second Coma is exceedingly appealing right now. When I am awake the pains and aches are getting progessively worse. My elbows are so painful I just want to cry. I can't phone my GP as telling them I have no energy and just ache sounds pathetic; but it is affecting my everyday life now. Moving hurts and my head is so dizzy all the time walking or moving in a straight line simply doesn't happen. I know my GP will just tell me that it is all linked to my CKD and there is nothing that can be done. Does this mean I know have years of this ahead of me and how do I get to enjoy my existance again? If I can't what is the point of carrying on? Maybe i