Lockdown 2020 and on

Another scorching day down here in the bottom corner of the UK; I was stood chatting to a neighbour earlier and could feel myself burning, I had to retreat back inside before I burst into flames!! I love nice weather, but I am far too English and am not designed to cope with hot weather!! In fact I'm just a delicate little flower and I thrive in cool, shady weather!! Andy has just got home from work in a foul mood...so the rest of my day is going to be acting as a buffer between him and Mikey again...perfect for a hot day like today...

Today was my first counselling session with my new counsellor. It felt as though is went well and Misty plonked herself on my lap through the whole session (on the phone thanks to CV 19) and she really did help. I was very proud of myself that I didn't get overly emotional and \I learned a lot about mt Super Ego, I think I need far more Id to balance it out! Maybe I need more sweets to rediscover my inner child and let her out more. I feel that I tried to hide her from far to young and probably achieved it too well. I also need to find a way to stop telling myself that I'm not doing what I should rather than what is achieveable and essential... Rather than re-programming Mikey it is me who needs it. I still need a large and strong magnet to wipe my memory again!! Although the thought of a fortnight snoozing in a coma does appeal to me! The weather is still very warm and from the way my nose feels the pollen levels must be pretty high...I'm still considering trying to find a

Today has not exactly followed the route I was expecting...rather odd conisdering every day for the last 66 has... A fellow member of the Kidney Disease facebook group I belong to has died. I suppose that is something we should all expect as Kidney failure is actually deadly...but over the weekend she appeared fine and has a 3 year old daughter. Mums are not meant to die (or Dads) and in my selfish, locked in mood, it has made me very aware of what might happen to Mikey. I really need to sort out a full support network that I can rely on for him. I don't want all responsibility dumped on Andy as Mikey can be difficult when he puts his mind to it! I have been sorting some help for Mikey to help us to imorove his self esteem and confidence. In these he is too like me, both are somewhere subterranean due to the way I have been treated by many people in the past. Beccy seems  to have already got the measure of my growing treasure and the suggestions she has already made certainly make

I got some sleep last night!!!! I have a feeling my body will go into shock as I'm so not used to it!! I'm not sure how much rest poor Andy got as he left me to go to sleep and I didn't even notice when came back! Sorry for being such a selfish, uncaring wife...but I obviously needed some sleep! I did manage to borrow back my tablet pillow briefly, but he has reclaimed it again! Good thing I went for a neutral colour and not Barbie Pink...!! Today's problem is a horrible pain in my left shoulder, trying to raise my arm is agony and I've discovered today that I use my left arm far more than I thought! My hair really needs a good wash - but there is no way I can doo that at the moment...it is just going to have to wait until I can move freely again! Or at least without collapsing due to the pain... The weather is still clear, sunny and warm...Mikey is dashing around in shorts so seems quite happy and we have managed to reduce the amount of junk he is absorbing, so hop

Another night on the sofa...my neck is agony now and any movement is agony...I need to find a way of obtaining a socially distanced massage!!! Andy has just gone into work to do whatever he does to the tapes! I'm not going to pretend I know what he does, but it is obviously essential and if anyone messes up his server room he gets even more grumpy! I just wish it wasn't in Maidstone Hospital but he says it is still quiet over there so hopefully nobody totally moronic can get anywhere near him. Having got this far I'm now being selfish and really do not want to even risk catching it... To be honest I've been feeling guilty recently - so far nobody I care about has been taken by Covid 19 and now it is starting to reduce I'm really hoping that state continues, but it is hard to believe that nobody I love has been affected... Today is my first full day on 16:8. I fast for 16 hours out of every 24 and am only allowed to eat during the other 8 hours. Andy is possibly not

Another yucky day....the weather is gorgeous, but I just want to sleep. I did manage to sleep last night but is was certainly not relaxing or refreshing... I would love to wake up one morning and feel 'normal' new normal or old normal, I really don't mind!! Mikey has actually managed to eat a vaguely normal lunch today! He was originally refusing lunch completely but eventually managed to force down half a sandwich... It is getting even more exhaausting trying to come up with something he might deign to try...he happily eats the same thing over and over - I would hate that... Busy multitasking at the moment whilst watching a live tour from Wingham Wildlife Park, I've seen the penguins so I'm happy!! Big advantage seeing them online is that I can't smell them!! Unfortunately the tigers are AWOL and refusing to appear for the camera, along with the Tapirs!! (Luckily not in the same enclosure!!) Reggie the Secca Deer is adorable, I need to revisit to provide an ear

Last night was another total lack of sleep. I am getting so fed up with this, especially as Andy was happily snoring next to me! But I did get engrossed is a couple of documentaries and then plumbed in to Spotify! The only problem was trying to sleep in my cordless headphones was unbelievably uncomfortable and by 5.30 I had to take them off and then dozed until Mikey decided I needed to see a Youtube video of some game he desperately needs!! Not the nicest way to be dragged into the world of the living and it has resulted in a rather impressive headache. I've fed the monster - he is completely addicted to part bake rolls and would happily live on them if we would let him! He has only agreed to eat them with ham in them, I tried to get him to try |Tuna today but her wasn't having any truck with that! It seems that legally in Mikey World the only filling allowed is ham! I'm going to continue to try to get him to try new flavours and textures, but the constant refusal/rejectio