Lockdown 2020 and on

 I've had my blood results back - thankfully my iron is pretty much at a normal/acceptable level but I am still completely exhausted and an energy free zone in all things. Andy is currently asleep again (If he snores I am not responsible for my actions) and Mikey has retired upstairs after spending a morning being unbelievably annoying. I am also not liking the pleasure he seems to find in slapping or hitting me. I am feeling even more isolated, useless and that being here is a total waste of space, time and effort. At the moment there is nothing I can think of to do to try to cheer myself up. I certainly don't want to try some of the things my head is suggesting - although some of them would end this issue for me. I hate feeling this worthless but it is just getting more and more frequent and I don't know what to do. There is no point phoning my GP as they really do not give a toss and mental health is way down their lidt of problems that need urgent help. The counsellor t

 I am finding it increasingly difficult to explain how I am feeling at the moment. Tuesday was wonderful, we all wnt to visit the Tower of London as a family, we bumped into a friend on our way to the station and I got onto the train without a panic attack. The first time that has happened for a very long time. The actual journey was fast and smooth, the hike to the underground exhausting for me, but we made it to the Tower and gained entry with no problems! Luckily we managed to get straight onto a Warders tour and luckily had Beefy409 as our guide!! He posts frequently on Facebook and his videos and other stuff kept me happily occupied and wanting to visit the Tower all through the various lockdowns and restrictions! He was brilliant, educational and decidedly entertaining, although I'm still not sure about their uniform with a kilt! Luckily the weather stayed fine until we went to a cafe for lunch and a quick dash across to the White Tower meant we were occupied until it all dri