Lockdown 2020 and on

I am having my own, personal mini crisis at the moment. This week Andy has been off work and we've been busy making family memories together with Mikey...But my overwhelming memory is just that I have no energy and I keep letting him down. That I send him off with Dad to do stuff when I just can't cope. I hate that i let him down so much simply because I'm too tired all the time. I hate this disease....to the outside world I look completely normal and fine, but on the inside I am falling apart and dying.  I also have no clue where I really belong and I know I've never done anything to make anyone proud of me - Basically I'm just a waste of space and time. I didn't take up my university place, marry a high over achieving successful business man or produce a scarily intelligent child... I had a normal life but unfortunately I'm now in a place which has never felt like home and will never feel like a place I belong. As I'm really not in a position to work a

I have reached the end of my very short tether at the moment. Mikey has decided that he is totally unable to sleep at night - and it appears that if he doesn't sleep neither will anyone else. Just after midnight he started crying and it took a very long time to calm him down enough to actually try to go to sleep! I have still got a horribly painful back and my headache is now well into it's 3rd week and I am sure someone is currently inside my head practising a drum solo. We had been hoping to take Mikey to Dreamland tomorrow - but they are operating on limited numbers and rides so we are heading to the Dockyard instead. Apparently Mikey will be able to row a lifeboat, visit a submarine and a large ship. I'm just hoping we will be able to wear him out so he will sleep and let me try to sleep as well! He is heading to the Rare Breeds Centre on Thursday with Crossroads so we will need to provide a packed lunch without any of the usual school restrictions! I am now dreading wh