Lockdown 2020 and on

 We are now within  a week of starting at the North School....Uniform has been obtained and just shoes and a new neutral lunch bag to be obtained... Poor Mikey is now starting to get nervous and I am finding it really hard not to show how nervous/anxious I am as well. This is really the totally wrong place for him and I can't trust the staff to look after him for me yet. Eventually I hope I will - but so far I am yet to see anything that gives any indication of future care for him. I'm half tempted to call the school and tell that what I will do to them if anything at all happens to or hurts my son. Watching the news this evening talking about a lack of care and understanding for people with autism I am not feeling any happier or confident. In myself I am just getting lower and lower. I feel even more worthless as every day passes and I just have nobody to talk to. I can't talk to Andy as I don't want to add to his problems, but his mother still won't speak to me, a...

Really having a tough few days at the moment. I can't talk to Andy as he has more than enough to cope with as he is back at work now - well working from Home with Mikey and me still getting under his feel and creating too much noise for him to concentrate. As for me, I'm worrying about Mikey starting at the North next week as I am still sure it is the wrong place for him. He is also getting nervous and I am doing my best not to let him see how I feel. It is obviously starting to really get to me a I've had a full blown panic attack this afternoon and the pain in my chest really did feel like another heart attack. But I went upstairs and calmed myself without unloading onto Andy. Mum has just called about a very close friend who has been rushed into Hospital in Norwich after part of her bowel burst. They have also discovered that she has cancer there as well, but have managed to remove all that they found... Her late husband is the wonderful man that Mikey is named after. th...