Enough

 Today I have really had enough. I'm still feeling awful, the pain is increasing and the antibiotics really do not seem to be working. Add in that Mikey is still being bullied at school and I really wish he hadn't listened to me and had fought back; but for once he listened and hasn't flattened the little toe rag but I also don't think he managed to win the house captain vote. But I am worried he will take that out on Mikey.

They are also working on 1000 hours of Kindness at school (well, Toby obviously isn't) and are meant to be completing a passport to hand in after the break. Mikey has not been given one and even though he has told his teacher several times still has not got one. I know it is not important in the big scheme of things but he feels that he is not being included as a member of the class, and no child wants to feel excluded...

I'm also concerned about the amount of homework that has been sent home. With everything they are not going to get much of a chance to relax and just be kids again. I accept that it is to prepare them for Sats, but I am not a teacher so I am hardly in a position to help him catch up on everything he has missed this year. I really feel that Sats should be cancelled as primary school kids are still trying to catch up and that needs to be with trained staff, not parents. We tried during lockdown and we failed.

Friday evening has included as awful lot of crying and I'm still feeling very emotional. I feel so abandoned and without support here. Andy obviously has to work so Mikey is stuck with me and nobody else as I am back pretty much shielding to try to keep as well  as I can. It is not fair on him, but nobody in Andy's family would consider helping me. I can hardly call Mum as she is in a vunerable age group, so I just carry on trying to cope and feeling more and more exhausted and letting Mikey down. Andy also does not want me going into hospital here and has said if I need hospital treatment he is taking me to Maidstone...yet more isolation for me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Do I keep Going?

 This week I have totally reached the end of my very frayed tether. I am more exhausted than I have felt for months and I am also feeling isolated, un-needed and unwanted. |Mikey is settled at school, is doing well and making new friends and finding new interests. All I do it listen while he frantically searched for reasons for him feeling f=depressed. When he does come up with something you can guarantee that there is nothing I can do to cure or solve whatever he is worrying about. He also has new people he can talk to so I am certainly no longer needed. I've also had my latest lot of blood tests done. I can't remember my access thing for my results so I can't look at them. My memory is failing even more than usual and I hate this. I'm also in constant pain and I can't do anything that is part of my usual way of living. I really just want all this to end. I have no energy, I can't sleep and even cooking something simple leaves me feeling dead on my feet. All I
Read more

Worried

 We are now the day before Mikey starts at The North School....all they have done today is worry me even more that this is the wrong place for my son. I know all parents are protective - but he took so long to have and I really do not trust them to look after him properly. We have been provided a timetable which states that his first lesson is PE - Yr 7 parents have been told not to send PE Kit in tomorrow.... Also, he is in group 7x3....but the timetable has him in 7x2. If they can't send the right timetable how can I trust them to look after the most valuable thing I have? The chair of Governors has also sent a letter about the school joining the Swale Academies Trust. From what I have heard about this on local news I do not want my child at a school under their control. How can I get him out of there? Since I started writing this |I have e-mailed the Head asking why everything is so disorganised the day before they start and have said it will not help kids with autism as everyth
Read more

Lockdown, Day 90

Image
Definitely thinking backwards today!! 10 years ago Andy had to take me to Hospital for monitoring as I couldn't feel the baby moving and a friend in Scotland (who was also pregnant) told me to get checked! I spent all of the Friday afternoon on a monitor and having blood samples taken. The original plan was for me to go in on Sunday for my induction so I was sent home as they were happy my bump was doing OK and there was nothing to worry about! That was my first experience that I remember of how tired hospital tests make me so I was not in a cooking mood! Dinner ended up being KFC and a tub of Ben & Jerries as I had decided that the bump couldn't put that much weight on in 2 days!  Just as I curled up with my tub the hospital called me and told me to go back the following morning as my blood tests had shown a problem. She did tell me what it was but I honestly can't recall what she said! The plan at that point was to do my induction as soon I arrived, so as I thought I
Read more