Finished...

 Recently has been tough for me, I really feel that I have had enough. For some reason I feel that I need to get things like my funeral planned and my letter of wishes completed and witnessed as I am so worried people I do not want influencing him will try to get too involved in his life. 

Having spoken to my nephrologist (finally) he is happy that I have pushed my function up and my creatinine has dropped - but my blood pressure has also shot up and my iron levels are down. I really hate that nobody can give me any time scales for anything, Andy seems to think that I will be on dialysis sooner rather than later . This scares me as nothing has been done about a fistula and I really do not want to start with a neckline as I know I am likely to try to pull it out. I really need to find someone to talk to about all of this. I think Andy is bored of hearing about how worried/scared I am - but I need to get things out. I am also getting fed up with feeling so worthless and such a waste of space and time.

Hopefully he will shortly be back at work! Then I can do what I want without being told to shut up as he is working!! I believe they are aiming for September...

Poor Mikey is starting to get nervous about changing schools - so I am not trying to put a positive spin on it - even though we still don't know where he  is going definitely! Lenham are still waiting for the Grammar Appeals to finish and then they will  start to offer any new places they have. My best positive spin is all the other current year 6's in Ashford will be starting new schools so now is the opportunity to make lots of new friends. Plus his current friends don't live too far away so he will still see them. See, Mum can be positive!!


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