Recovery

 I am still trying to recover from Thursday...I hate what this disease has done to me, even sitting in the car driving has worn me out - it just makes me feel so stupid. How can sitting in a car be so exhausting?

My back is still in constant pain and I am close to tears at all times. Basically I am an emotional mess. I am trying to keep up with everything, but Mikey is far more interested in his X Box than me - Mum is just too much work. Andy also has new interests that do not involve me. I guess this is what I have ahead of me; they will move on and not need me at all.

A friend asked recently if any other women had been affected by the fitting of PD ports or fistulas. I have not yet had mine done but I am already dreading that it will make me feel even more broken. IN order to stay alive my body will need to be altered/defaced. Will I still be me?


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