Home Schooling

 Yet again it has been proved to me that I was not cut out to be a teacher. So far no work has been set by school so I decided that it was a good chance to start on the infamous homework trail. Unfortunately Mikey does not agree with my decision and has retired to his bedroom! We are not helped by the fact he is not meant to get close to me at all and Andy is still working from home so is busy! (Although at the moment he is sorting out my printing issues!!) 

I have also have an interview with a research student today about how CKD patients have felt during the pandemic. It was actually nice that someone was aware that we have been affected due to out health - both physical and mental, I just hope I can read her paper once she has finished and handed it in!

My knitting project is currently on hold as I can cast on but then seem to hit a complete block and end up destroying what I'm doing!! I'm hoping a break my reset my brain and let me carry on with my square production - although so far they are all different sizes as I seem to be very good at adding stitches as I go! Better than my crochet attempt where I just lost stitches as often as was humanly possible! Knitting rows should be easier than I appear to make it, and I need more wool! I have decided to make them in blues and purples as I think they will be relaxing as well as my favourite colours!

My fatigue at the moment is impacting me harder than normal; I am getting to sleep with my sleep mask and music playing, but I'm still feeling as exhausted when I wake as when I went to bed. This lack of energy drags me down mentally as all I really want to do is sleep all day, but I don't want to do that as I prefer sleeping whilst Andy snores! My dream is to wake up one morning and actually feel like getting up and not rolling over and going back to sleep...but all my body want to do is preserve the little energy I have so I don't waste any of it. Basically I don't live; I just exist between sleeping sessions and at other times I don't sleep and spend the night wide awake; all this does is result in even less energy and me not coping for a complete day. And while all this is going on I still look perfectly normal for me. I don't look ill at all, I just look pale and normal - like every other 'normal' person on the planet. But inside I'm in pain and close to just collapsing in a heap at any moment. If I want to do anything I have to weigh up the effect it will have me against the actual need to do whatever. Even picking Mikey up from school yesterday was a challenge, but I was allowed to exit the way I went in as there was no way I could cope with the exit route we were supposed to use. Thankfully Miss Talbot knows about how I feel and gave me dispensation to disobey! Always good when the headteacher lets you misbehave!!




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