Lockdown, Day 96

Today was counselling again. My measures have improved buti have a lot of work to do in the next 3 sessions. I have to stop thinking I can do everything and start to rely on other people for support. I am not an island and it takes a village to raise children. My problem is I've always just relied on me as I can do whatever to the level I feel is needed and I feel nobody else can. 

This has been my downfall in many situations. I run myself into the ground trying to do too much and achieve totally unachievable goals. I should know better as it nearly killed me in2008  and if it had succeeded neither me nor Mikey would exist now... 

But how do I know who I can trust? My main aim is always to have a support network for Andy and Mikey in the event anything untoward happens to me. But I've never ever considered that I either need or deserve a support network for me. If I cant cope I dont deserve it in my head...How do I change that?

I pretty much feel that I deserve to feel isolated. I'm not important enough to warrant any extra love or support. If I was I would have it.

My brain is going to have far to much to think about tonight...

my last completed picture...very original as I redesigned one part as I thought I'd run out of crystals!! And I still hate the square ones...

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