Lockdown 3; Day 68

 Still totally exhausted...I am sleeping for short periods but then wake up and that is it. Especially if Andy has taken his machine off and is snoring!

Mikey has thankfully gone back to school - and has even come home with an Achievement award this week for his positivity!! I am impressed, even though he really isn't sure what he got it for! We also got his pack from the North School. Thankfully I don't have to send his yellow form back until May, hopefully his final destination will have been settled by then as I don't want to send his birth certificate and then get it back again if I turn the place down...

I have tried to contact Dr Klebe as I am really feeling rough at the moment and my GP appears to be totally absorbed by me anaemia. I don't really want then messing around as I doubt they have been in touch with the anaemia team in Canterbury. My fear is they mess around in the way they did with my allopurinol and actually make me worse rather than any better. I am so fed up at letting Mikey and Andy down as I run out of energy so quickly/easily and just rest rather than do anything with them. But so far the response has been a very loud silence. Guess I'll try to get hold of his secretary this week...

I think at the moment |I'm really not happy about the complete lack of control I have over any part of my life. I can't get help from my GP, I can't get hold of my nephrologist, I have no energy, Mikey is going to a school I really don't want him at and I hate feeling so lonely and isolated - especially as there is nothing I can do about it until April. This year I feel as though every part of my life has gone backwards. If I'm honest, I have no clue how to move forwards either. This Pandemic has terrified me and I'm still scared as so many people don't seem to be taking it seriously any more...



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lockdown, Day 73

Image
The whole world appears to be going mad - and not over Covid 19 for once, but over the death of a man called George Floyd. Any death is one death to many, but the Americans do seem to be reacting and using this death as an excuse. The riots in various US cities are causing Millions of Dollars in damage (physical and mental) whilst the mobs, which seem to have a high number of white member scream for the blood of a policeman who probably felt he was working within the orders he has been given. Personally I feel they should be yelling at the Orange Idiot they elected 4 years ago. I vaguely remember his administration having a few black faces at the start, but recently it is decidedly WASP and black faces are totally out of sight. He has also threatened to send the army in to deal with the rioters...I am unable to remember any other US President using the military to quash a public uprising in the past. Is it wrong for me to hope that the people of the United States may remember all of th...
Read more

How Do I keep Going?

 This week I have totally reached the end of my very frayed tether. I am more exhausted than I have felt for months and I am also feeling isolated, un-needed and unwanted. |Mikey is settled at school, is doing well and making new friends and finding new interests. All I do it listen while he frantically searched for reasons for him feeling f=depressed. When he does come up with something you can guarantee that there is nothing I can do to cure or solve whatever he is worrying about. He also has new people he can talk to so I am certainly no longer needed. I've also had my latest lot of blood tests done. I can't remember my access thing for my results so I can't look at them. My memory is failing even more than usual and I hate this. I'm also in constant pain and I can't do anything that is part of my usual way of living. I really just want all this to end. I have no energy, I can't sleep and even cooking something simple leaves me feeling dead on my feet. All I ...
Read more

When will all this end?

The UK appears to be in total meltdown abd I have had enough. Petrol is now been panic bought - at least it makes a change from toilet roll.  Mikey's school start was delayed until 10am this morning as Hythe Road was at a standstill = he missed PE but was playing benchball instead - but the advantage was he didn't have to get changed! By the end of today Stagecoach were not even trying to get near school - thankfully Andy got close and picked him up = the thought of Mikey finding the station and getting on the right bus is terrifying! He could have ended up anywhere!! While the general population are acting line brain dead zombies I am trying not to move too much as the infamous calcified blood clot (which doesn't cause any pain...) is absolutely killing me. I am seriously considering having a hot water bottle tonight in an attempt to ease the pain. I chickened out of my afternoon in the woods as I wasn't sure my back would hold out. I'm really not good with pain.
Read more