Confusion

As usual, last night I was extremely tired. Andy was watching some thing on his phone but I'm sure I dozed of during it! The only problem I had was once I dozed, I kept dozing. Even though I go lots of lovely naps, I kept waking up and then dozing off again. What I would give for a decent deep sleep...I may still need someone to just tap me on the head every night to encourage passing out!! And I do mean tap - I have enough headaches on a 'normal' day as it is! 

This afternoon Mikey is off for an Afternoon with Crossroads who run a group for Young Carers. As usual he is in a t shirt and shorts and the poor lady running it is worried he will be cold! I must have looked like such a cruel mother trying to assure her that he will be fine! Even during to intermittant snow over the last couple of days he has worn exactly what he is wearing today...I can only assume his genetic boiler is working well which means I am actually an envious Mum! I'm far more used to shivering and turning blue! I don't get much sympathy from the boys as they are both always warm and wearing t shirts!!

Last night the fluffy black cat turned up again, this was the first time i got a good look at him and I think he needs a vet as his eyes looked watery and sore. As out 2 are being complete Divas we gave him the rejected biscuits that they feel are not good enough for them and he tucked in. The poor boy (well I think he is a boy) seemed to be starving and by the time he was sated he only left about 6 bits of kibble! If we go outside he vanishes, but I will keep and eye on Misty and Rory just incase he has anything contageous. 

Personally I am still struggling at the moment, I don't feel as though I belong here and what makes it worse is that I have no idea where I do belong. Also the lack of control that I have over anypart of my life or treatment is really getting to me. Speaking to PALs did help on Friday but they were meant to call me back yesterday and I am still waiting to hear anything. I'm also getting a tad stressed about my 2nd jab as I haven't been given a date of time to return for it and I am sure it should be in the next 2 weeks. But haviong just complained about the hospital my paranoia has kicked in and I'm sure I have been deleted from their list. I am also feeling really drained/ill and know I should speak to my GP but I jsut can't be bothered to deal with the arguements and being called by staff who are unable to cope/deal with me.

Things must be bad at the moment - I'm not even interested in my Diamond painting. Maybe I should try to track down some frames and get some fully completed....

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