When is this ending??

 I am very aware of how everyone is feeling...but I am at the end of my ever shortening tether.

Over the last few weeks I have felt increasingly alone and isolated - which in a house this size is quite an achievement. I am also always telling myself I can beat and get through this, but it is pretty much impossible to believe myself now. 

Mikey is growing up and will not need me as much and Andy clearly doesn't. He is much happier when I'm not around or being silent. He can then happily get on with what he wants to do or whatever App on his phone has got his attention.

I'm also trying to lose weight again, but all of out scales are not working so I have no clue if I am getting anywhere at all. The one advantage I do have is that I still can't taste most food so I still have no desire at all to want to eat; I've even gone off chocolate...I'd rather have sweets than chocolate - I#m pretty much living on butter mints and sherbet lemons.

My emotions are all over the place - bursting into tears for no reason is becoming a daily occurence which hopefully will help keep my fluid levels under control! I know I need to be more active to lose weight but my energy levels are even lower (which I didn't think was possible) and my legs go wobbly really quickly which, when the dizzy spells start mean I feel extremely unstable. I have really had enough of having a chronic illness. I look fine but I feel dead 100% of the time.


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