Lockdown 2020 and on

 I have been debating in my mindover the weekend to decide where this blog will go once/if we get out of lockdown... My life is hardly exciting - the main entertainment today has been trying to work out why one cat is addicted to sleeping on the (closed) toilet or when it is in use trying to get behind it. Cat Psych is beyond me right now so I may just leave her to it! Another bright idea (at 4.19 am ) is to look back over my CKD journey... and I think that may be where I am going to start and then just let it all evolve from there! My journey basically started in 2008 when I was sent home from work with what I thought was just an upset stomach. My loving team had told me I looked bloody awful and I had to stop on the A20 to be sick. Really not a nice trip home and once I got home I burled up on a sofa and stuck to liquids only! I pretty much stayed there for the rest of the week, and on Saturday I was feeling slightly better. I washed my hair and had what I thought was an asthma a...

 Still been a tough few days. The first part of our appeal has gone to Lenham and has been received as the head teachers P.A. e-mailed to say they have got it. I have also contacted Godinton and asked for a report of any extra assitance and support which has been provided for Mikey. Miss Talbot will also outline why a smaller school is more suited for him. Part of me wishes he could stay there until he is 18. Plus I would also be keeping him close at hand...he is still up for wandering off on his own - usually ending up at the play park which is technically still closed unless you don't have a garden or open space (which he does!!) Unfortunately his tracking watch works fine as a phone - but can't track him at all! A total waste as it can't even find him when he is at home! At least I can put a tracker on his phone when he changes school!! I spent most of yesterday waiting for a GP to call me. I was eventually called at around 4pm by a practice nurse. She was lovely but got...

Today has been even worse than yesterday - which, if I'm honest I didn't think was possible! 1. I thought I had put an order into Sainsbury's, but on checking the site and my e-mail I hadn't completed it. The fridge is empty and cat food and Dippers are on the verge of running out, the first delivery I could get was Saturday...So Andy is taking his life in his hands and heading out shopping later! 2. I phoned Lenham and asked them to call back when they are able - I am still waiting but KCC at least have had our request to go onto the waiting lists for both Wye and Lenham... but our fight would be better if we could get Mikey officially diagnosed. We have been on the 12 month waiting list for a year now and heard a total of sod all. But in the mean time I need to collect as much evidence as I can about the support/extra assistance he requires. 3. Mums birthday present was delivered. I| opened to package to find an empty jewellery box. Some picker in a warehouse has pick...

 Today we got the news we really did not want. KCC have decided that Mikey should go to the North School. So far as I am aware KCC have no information about what sort of school he might need and it appears that all the kids who are 11 this year are randomly allocated to schools. In order to get to school Mikey would need 2 different buses; the chances of him actually arriving are zero. Plus the school has a massive intake and he would just vanish and get chewed up far too quickly. Andy also attended this school and definitely does not want Mikey going there. I have already sent a request to KCC asking to go onto the waiting lists for both Lenham and Wye Schools and I have sent out reasons as well - the form you have to fill in does not give any space to say anything personal about Mikey and surely that is actually important? These are kids, not autobots to just be moved into a new space for programming... This has really upset both of us...If I could move us out of Ashford I would;...

 I'm sort of in countdown mode...I need lockdown to end, but I am terrified of being out and meeting people again. I've spent the last year keeping myself safe and away from Corona Virus as much as humanly possible and my brain is still concentrating on that. I know I need to get used to being out again but so many people just ignore doing anything vaguely sensible I am still terrified. But on the other hand I am so fed up of feeling so lonely and having nobody listening to me when I need to talk. (or just ignoring what I might need to talk about) One thing this pandemic has shown me is that I am stronger than I realised, but also that I am basically miserable and I have no clue how to cheer myself up any more. I'm not even sure that I want to cheer up, I can't remember what feeling happy actually feels like and I'm not sure I could cope with feeling anything.  My main problem at the moment is coping with my emotions. I just want to cry and sleep. I was going to do ...

 Well we have arrived at another Friday! Mikey is worried that School starts on Monday (Just a week early) and he wants to 'do' something this weekend! He really has not grasped this Lockdown thing!! To be honest I would love to go somewhere....anywhere!! But nowhere is open yet and I think the Egg Machine would run out of attraction for Mikey pretty quickly! Half of me is tempted to head to a wood with a camera - but again Mikey would really not be overly impressed! I am pleased he will be returning to school soon. I have noticed that he is getting far to comfortable with just his company and I am getting fed up with trying to extract him from his bedroom. Another reason I need a dog - I could just send it into his pit to pull him out! Much healthier for me!! I am coming up with some really good reasons to have another furry kid....plus it would be such a special 50th Birthday gift after the hell of the last few years.... Preferably a Norbert!!! My sleep is getting better - fa...

 Another tough day. You would think I would be used to them by now!! Yesterday I ate a digestive biscuit during the morning and then spent the next couple of hours concentrating on not throwing up...Not fun, so for lunch I went bland; cream crackers and butter! They seemed to help, but if I'm honest eating is getting more and more difficult. I can't taste anything, or it all just tastes foul. Why would I want to put anything in my mouth if it tastes that disgusting? On a plus side I am sleeping better 😀 but I wake up feeling as exhausted as when I went to bed the night before. It also means my brain wakes me far to easily to think. Recently it has been mostly thinking about things I really wanted to do, but haven't and there is now no way I can achieve them. Doesn't help my mindset to feel written off even before I hit 50. But unless timetravel is sorted out there is absolutely no way I can do what I wanted. Or I need a major medical miracle within the next few months!...