Lockdown, Day 72

Monday again, I'm seriously considering putting the days in the titles as most of the time I have no clue what day, date or month it is. The year is easy as 2020 I feel, is going to be never ending and is officially the year from Hell.

As well as the infernal virus the hay fever season is feeling worse than it has been for years. The last time I suffered this much was back in 1989 when I was taking my A Levels. I do remember ending up with Bronchitis which was horrific when I went to the open day Royal Insurance held; but I managed to get invited back for a formal interview and finally left after 14 years and a merge with Sun Alliance and various roles which, I can honestly say, I enjoyed almost all the time!! Unfortunately I doubt jobs like those I undertook actually exist anymore.

One side effect from my counselling last week, is that I've been getting flashbacks to episodes in my life I would prefer to forget. My one big hope is that I will remember Dad's voice as, for the last 4 years, trying to recall it has just resulted in a back and empty hole. That emptiness does not help to reduce the grief I feel and I had hoped that by now I would be able to think of him without it resulting in me dissolving into tears. I am very aware that grief hits us all in different ways and for differing lengths of time, but I don't have any idea how to help myself with this. At least I will have something new to talk to Andrea about on Thursday.


This is Dungeness on the coast, for some reason I seem able to let go of things here...hopefully we will be heading back once we are able to get out and about more...I need some clean, fresh sea air I think.

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