Lockdown, Day 68

Today was my first counselling session with my new counsellor. It felt as though is went well and Misty plonked herself on my lap through the whole session (on the phone thanks to CV 19) and she really did help. I was very proud of myself that I didn't get overly emotional and \I learned a lot about mt Super Ego, I think I need far more Id to balance it out! Maybe I need more sweets to rediscover my inner child and let her out more. I feel that I tried to hide her from far to young and probably achieved it too well.

I also need to find a way to stop telling myself that I'm not doing what I should rather than what is achieveable and essential... Rather than re-programming Mikey it is me who needs it. I still need a large and strong magnet to wipe my memory again!! Although the thought of a fortnight snoozing in a coma does appeal to me!

The weather is still very warm and from the way my nose feels the pollen levels must be pretty high...I'm still considering trying to find a diving helmet with an oxygen supply to live is from April to the end of June! At least I should hopefully feel a little more human that way...and the explosive sneezing would hopefully cease; or life inside the helmet will be decidedly soggy and deafening!


This is the closest we get to vegetables going into Michael...so far as he is concerned, Ketchup is one of his 5 a Day! At least we can now get reduced salt and sugar and he can't tell the difference thankfully!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lockdown, Day 73

Image
The whole world appears to be going mad - and not over Covid 19 for once, but over the death of a man called George Floyd. Any death is one death to many, but the Americans do seem to be reacting and using this death as an excuse. The riots in various US cities are causing Millions of Dollars in damage (physical and mental) whilst the mobs, which seem to have a high number of white member scream for the blood of a policeman who probably felt he was working within the orders he has been given. Personally I feel they should be yelling at the Orange Idiot they elected 4 years ago. I vaguely remember his administration having a few black faces at the start, but recently it is decidedly WASP and black faces are totally out of sight. He has also threatened to send the army in to deal with the rioters...I am unable to remember any other US President using the military to quash a public uprising in the past. Is it wrong for me to hope that the people of the United States may remember all of th...
Read more

How Do I keep Going?

 This week I have totally reached the end of my very frayed tether. I am more exhausted than I have felt for months and I am also feeling isolated, un-needed and unwanted. |Mikey is settled at school, is doing well and making new friends and finding new interests. All I do it listen while he frantically searched for reasons for him feeling f=depressed. When he does come up with something you can guarantee that there is nothing I can do to cure or solve whatever he is worrying about. He also has new people he can talk to so I am certainly no longer needed. I've also had my latest lot of blood tests done. I can't remember my access thing for my results so I can't look at them. My memory is failing even more than usual and I hate this. I'm also in constant pain and I can't do anything that is part of my usual way of living. I really just want all this to end. I have no energy, I can't sleep and even cooking something simple leaves me feeling dead on my feet. All I ...
Read more

When will all this end?

The UK appears to be in total meltdown abd I have had enough. Petrol is now been panic bought - at least it makes a change from toilet roll.  Mikey's school start was delayed until 10am this morning as Hythe Road was at a standstill = he missed PE but was playing benchball instead - but the advantage was he didn't have to get changed! By the end of today Stagecoach were not even trying to get near school - thankfully Andy got close and picked him up = the thought of Mikey finding the station and getting on the right bus is terrifying! He could have ended up anywhere!! While the general population are acting line brain dead zombies I am trying not to move too much as the infamous calcified blood clot (which doesn't cause any pain...) is absolutely killing me. I am seriously considering having a hot water bottle tonight in an attempt to ease the pain. I chickened out of my afternoon in the woods as I wasn't sure my back would hold out. I'm really not good with pain.
Read more