19th Wedding Anniversary

 We had a quiet day, the only family member who contacted us was my Mum. I assume my Mothers in Law are both in mourning that I am still here!  Mikey just wants to know why we had to get married before he could grace us with his presence!!

This morning the weather seemed to be exactly as it was 19 years ago, sunny but cold. I really wish I could remember more about the day; looking back over the photos I remember my veil trying to take off and after we had more photos at the reception  I gave up on it completely! It pretty much removed itself anyway! I also remember comments about the colour the mother of the groom was wearing as it really looked like an outfit to get married in. I have also noticed from the photos that the flowers I had specially chosen for the 2 mothers were not worn. I have a recollection that I had cosen flowers she did not approve of, I also had not got button holes for all members of both families - but they still appeared. This wedding was not arranged by her at all - OK, I refused one of her hymn choices but I had a very good reason for it - not that she allowed me to explain it.I also refused to take her with me when I picked up my dress, it was one of the last things I did with my Mum before I got married and I didn't want anyone else there; I know Carol got to go with Claire, but her Mum didn't want to do it - I AM NOT CLAIRE. Also the way she was gripping hold of Andy in the photos at the church and reception, I'm sure she was more than happy to switch places with me. My Dad made the same comment when we were dancing later whilst she have grabbed my new husband to dance so Dad came and rescued me from being abandoned. If she had wanted to be involved in the planning all she had to do was speak to me - but it seems I am jsut too terrifying for her to cope with. I'm just sorry she is so narrow minded and rude.

I just wish I had happy memories of our wedding, but most memories that have returned are not. Although I do have a very odd recollection of being taken to look at the best men's toilets ever provided. From what I recall it was not my idea and I had no option at all! At least we have some good friends even if family hate me.

Friday is my brother in laws 50th Birthday. And knowing the Sharp/Zerfahs family there will be some sort of celebration, but I know I will not be invited and to be honest, if I am not welcome, my son is definitely not going and when I have to face this milestone I am having something - but nobody from that branch of the family will be invited. I can be as rude and stubborn as the Dragon if I have to. I am also reminded that I need to write my letter of intentions to go alongside my will nad get if witnessed when I sign it to make it legal. Jan is not the only legal mind in my family and I trust people who treat me with kindness and not as a complete waste of time. I have not been able to work out why she is now believing everything Sue feeds to her via Martin, it just shows that she has never got to know me - just whatever she wants to think, rather than the truth...I am now past caring as I have too many important things to deal with at the moment. Such as making sure my child is happy and feels supported and my husband is as happy as I can make him right now. They are my family, not the band of misfits dictated to by a twisted, small minded harpy. Who right now I am still hoping Covid will get it's claws into.


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