Release, Day 3

 The change to normality has already worn off. I am so fed up now and I'm fed up at people ramming stuff down my throat. 

I detest this disease that I am going to have to live with for the rest off my life. I hate living in a town where the members of the family, which I DO belong to want nothing to do with me and just want me to get on and die. I'm almost at the stage where I would like to do what they want just so I can go and be lonely somewhere else and hopefully would be out of pain. This lockdown has been horrible for me, I have had no support bubble, the only member of my family who has bothered to speak to me is my Mother. I feel that I have been totally isolated and nobody wants to spend any time with me. Why should I keep going on when there is no reason?

One thing I do need to do is get Andy and Mikey talking to each other and then I definitely won't be needed or missed. 

I have no clue what to do to improve how I feel here...while I feel so unwanted I can't see any point in trying.  I hate that the only thing I wanted from Covid didn't happen...all I wanted was for Andy and I to stop having to do everything seperately and Mikey being used to send 'subtle' messages about how useless I am as a mother. All she does is make me feel pathetic and that I can't cope, but all the time if I needed help she would run in the opposite direction as fast as humanly possible. It is amazing how fast broomsticks can move when they are needed to. She is also very good at spreading falsehoods about me. Apparently the fact we don't speak is down to me! This has led to Andy's stepmother yelling at me for being stupid and small minded; as well  as threatening to go to court to get custody of Mikey. I have never refused to speak to her - I was not brought up to be that rude. If I was I would probably jsut slap her and walk out. I do not want to go to her house again to be treated in the way she did the last time I was there, plus the over powering scent of air freshener makes me feel totally sick. I also do not need ot see Martin being bossed around like a teenager, instead of an adult who is nearly 50. He has never grown up and both he and Dave just do as they are told. Someone should really tell her how rude and obnoxious she really is; but all through her life everything has been bent and changed to keep her happy. THERE IS NO WAY I WILL EVER DO THAT AND I WILL NOT LETY MY SON BE TWISTED LIKE SHE HAS TRIED TO DO TO BOTH OF HER SONS AND HER NEPHEWS

I'm sorry, but she is a complete bitch who has made my life horrible for the last 20 years. I have no idea who she wanted Andy to marry, but I know it was not me.

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