Lockdown, Day 43

I think my main thoughts from this weekend are that at least 2 of us reached the end of tethers for being shut in home (and yes, I know it is for our safety and to protect the NHS etc...) as the thoughts of a 9 year old boy do not seem able to look long term or at any bigger picture. I really don't blame him for being fed up, but I started the weekend feeling exhausted and trying to keep him up beat and convinced he can do this has drained me totally. 

Then once I went to bed last night Andy started snoring. I was very close to smothering him once I discovered that trying to sleep with my head between 2 pillows; breathing was exceedingly difficult due to the pillow and me being too low. I quickly decamped to downstairs  (with the assistance and company of Misty, I settled on the sofa but didn't fall asleep as I was cold. Andy came down at about 6.30, I was sociable briefly and then went back upstairs to try to get some sleep.

Sleeping was a great idea in principle... But again it is an alien concept to 9 year old boys who kept wandering in to talk to me! I am aware that relatively soon he will not want to talk to or see me, but when I've been awake and cold all night it really is n ot what I need!!

The current rumours are that year 6 will return to school first at the start of June, I know that they don't want all of the children back in one go (and I'm more than happy with that! But Mikey really needs to be back in his learning environment sooner rather than later from a very selfish parents point of view!

Another nasty issue of not sleeping was it gave me far too much time to think... that is never a good idea as my brain siezes the opportunity with glee and pretty much runs riot.. Last night all the thoughts centred around the fact that the only procedures I have ever had happened at Kent and Canterbury Hospital and none ended that well... The first resulted in me being put into a coma which had not been mentioned to either Andy or me the night before when we chatted to the consultant. This led to various other issues which are still impacting me now. The second procedure was the removal of the stones, I got the impression that they were seriously worried about actually doing it, I had 4 consultants in there while I was operated on, The procedure itself went well, although I was exceedingly reluctant to come round  and my day procedure resulted in me staying in hospital for 2-3 days, and another period on oxygen on day 1 to try to keep me awake. The final 'procedure' was a test on how mt kidneys were functioning; for this I had to drink a large volume of water and spend an inordinate amount of time in a rather strange x-ray machine. I also spent a considerable time having my blood pressure monitored. Thankfully the nurses were reading my notes as they were bored and noticed I am diabetic, I then told them I felt a bit odd and on checking my blood sugar I was on the verge of slipping into a diabetic coma. There was then a quick load of activity to pour glucose into me and also alot of yelling to get me to eat biscuits! Andy was told what was happening and as we left was encouraging me to eat a sandwich and chocolate! As a result I'm never happy of confident when I have to attend this hospital, but as they do not have an A&E or covid patients I can get this Colonoscopy done sooner rather than later.

 If I'm honest I have no idea what they are looking for! The idea I needed this was floated during my stay at William Harvey at Christmas.  On my stay in A&E i had a CT scan and something showed up which nobody there could identify to do with my lymph nodes. It certainly was not as a result of anything I reported, and I did say I didn't want it... but my desires were not important and have been completely ignored! There is a good chance I was told more at the time - but I have no memory of anything that could have been said; I only saw Doctors when I was on my own, in the past Andy has usually been around and part of any discussions and can sometimes remember the important facts I have glossed over.