Lockdown 3; Day 4

 I am really finding this lockdown tough. Mikey is totally uninterested in school work, I am exhausted and my head is one hell of a mess, Andy is doing his best to work from home and I just want someone new to talk to.

I know that I could talk to Andy, but I really don't want to pile my thoughts onto him; but I also still need someone to listen to all the panic and anxiety storming through me 24/7 as so many people are just ignoring what we all need to do and are yelling far louder than sensible beings. This selfishness is really upsetting me as I have been doing my beat to protect myself and my family for the last year, but a few people doing that is not enough.... Add on all the conspiracy idiots who are refusing to be vaccinated and I just want to curl up and cry whilst just waiting to die. It doesn't help when I hear about people I am related to being so stupid and exposing themselves and people close to them to this dangerous virus. This microscopic bug kills with no worry or feelings about if you deserve to die or not. We now have temporary morgues being set up - this was not needed during the first lockdown, but now; because of the mutation, it is spreading faster and is hitting more people and doesn't seem to be concentrating on the older members of the population.

Next week I am back in to Kent and Canterbury Hospital for a minor procedure. Thankfully Canterbury's infection rate is currently considerable lower than Ashford...but I'm still not happy as it is something I had done last year and it didn't find/solve anything then and I'm fairly confident the same result will be reached again now. But it is going to leave me feeling worse for the next couple if days after - just what I need. But it may answer why I am getting so many UTIs at the moment...I just want them to stop.



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