Lockdown 3; Day 12

I have really had enough now. I feel really ill, but I can't think of the words to use so I can describe exactly how awful I am feeling. My stomach is churning like a cement mixer and I know I need to eat, but the thought of actually putting food in my mouth feels horrific.

My hands are currently freezing and my nails are a long way from being pink, and I am alternating between shivering and over heating. Mikey is at full volume and  my head is not reacting well to it.

I'm also finding it extremely tough to write about how I feel, my wonderful super ego is busy yelling at me what I should be feeling and doing and my brain is basically refusing to even consider trying it. Unlike yesterday lunch has not happened and I really don't want to consider dinner. My main aim is to get back to bed and sleep...but then I start to worry about not sleeping etc. I really feel that I am in an unwinnable situation; I really can't think or see a way out of this and I also really don't know if I even want a way out. I am so fed up with feeling so dead, maybe actually being dead is what I should do. 

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